Letting Go

"And loveIt's not the easy thing
The only baggage you can bringIs all that you can't leave behind"

This line from a U2 song has been dancing around my head today, especially the line "All that you can't leave behind."

That line describes my life. I have a lot of baggage, but it's nothing compared to some very close to me. They've got so much baggage, it's slowly pushing my life to the wayside, as I am forced, time and time again, to deal with their baggage at the cost of my own.

It's like a giant, super-sticky spider's web filled with baggage. Baggage to the left, baggage to the right. Baggage in front of us, baggage trailing behind.

AND IT'S NOT MINE!

I have been taking on their baggage for years, to "keep the peace," to "not rock the boat," to "make things okay," to "not upset the apple cart," or however that fucking saying goes.

I'M TIRED OF HANDLING THE BAGGAGE.

So... I started forcing some decisions. Ultimatums, if you will. Oh, how people hate ultimatums. I can't stand the fucking things. But here I am, forcing ultimatums on people. Trying to free myself from this giant, super-sticky spider's web, one strand at a time. Trying to live the life I put on hold, to help others live a lie.

No more.

If this house of cards ends up crumbling, then so be it.
It's not my baggage.