Supermarket Karaoke - A New Game Show!

I've found myself doing something a little strange lately, and I must admit, it's improving the quality of my grocery shopping. I park in the parking lot, hit the Starbucks next door and arm myself with a latte containing lots of caffeine, grab a cart, buckle my purse in, and away I go!

It happens as soon as I aim my cart toward the produce aisle. The music piping in from the overhead speakers permeates my brain, which blurts out, "Hey, I know this song!" Brain communicates with mouth and soon I am singing along. By the time I hit the cereal aisle, I've crooned 2 and a half songs. The other half of a song was ruined by announcements about fresh bread and a deli special. On that song, I kept singing and as soon as the announcement finished, the song resumed at the precise point where I was. The more comfortable I became, the louder I sang. I even broke into harmony on several songs.

As I unpacked the groceries at home, an idea struck me. This would be a great game show! We'd call it "Supermarket Karaoke". Contestants would win free products for every song they sang correctly. Extra points (or products) for those brave enough to harmonize. I think David Lee Roth would be a great host for this show. He's already shot one music video inside a small grocery store. I cant remember the name of the song but the video is very stark in my brain.

I was shopping the other day when that song, "What if God Was One of Us" came on. I started singing along enthusiastically, when something odd happened. As I finished one line, another voice joined in! We sang in unison until the chorus, when I broke off into a harmony. As the chorus ended, I rounded the corner and came face to face with my duet partner, another middle-aged mom like me. We finished the song, gave each other a high-five and moved on.

David Lee Roth, where are you?

Insecurities

I love hockey.  I love to watch it. I love to write about it. I hope to one day learn how to play.  I love interviewing players, but I will never interview them face to face.  It has to be done either by phone or email.  At every Thunderbirds game I cover, the PR guy asks us during the third period, "Do you want to talk to the players?" I always say no.  It's not because I'm shy or feel my hockey knowledge won't stand up.   I say no because I don't want any player to look at me.   I'm overweight.  Strike that. I'm not overweight.  I'm very overweight.  

Sure, I'm working to lose it.  I've gotten serious about my health.  Actually, I've had to get serious. I've been diagnosed as being pre-diabetic.  I have extremely high blood pressure.  And I'm still young, dammit.  I gained a lot of weight when I was pregnant and never lost it.  Well, that's not exactly true.  I did drop four sizes about 10 years ago, by diligently going to the gym every morning and walking on the treadmill for an hour.  I know I can do it again.  Yes, I have a few health challenges.  I also have a few lingering aches from a car accident four years ago.  But the fact remains that I can do it.  I can lose weight.

But that doesn't change the way I look now and the way I feel about approaching hockey players. These guys are young and fit.  They would look at me and just see the weight.  They wouldn't see the pregnancy, the accident, the injuries.  And no matter how well they've been brought up, they would not see past the weight to the brain that houses the passion for the game they play so well. I could not stand to see the disgust or even pity in their eyes.

So, I will continue to interview players by email or phone.  I will continue to cover the games.  But I will not meet any of these guys face to face, no matter how nice they seem.  It's a step I just can't take.